Mosaic Mennonites

Missional - Intercultural - Formational

Conference News

Celebrating the Creative Spirit

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Desiring to enhance a sense of community and offer our hospitality, Bally Mennonite Church planned and hosted a free event, Celebrating the Creative Spirit, on May 5 & 6, 2017. The event featured 40 artists and artisans from the Bally area including professionals such as potter Roy Yoder, photographer Gordon Groff, weaver Tonya Jones, and artist/author Julie Longacre as they displayed a variety of paintings, pastels, pottery, photographs, weaving, wood work, quilts, fly-tying, needlework, fabric art, and the artwork of children. It was a Friday evening and five hours on Saturday full of visual arts, music and food.

Beginning as an idea in the Outreach Committee, the five members helped bring their idea to life.  The congregation was invited to a meeting to assess the interest; only two people showed up, but they were very enthusiastic.  As the idea was discussed, enthusiasm grew, as did the creative ideas.  What began as a simple idea for a simple art show turned into an event chock-full of musical performances and a variety of subjective art including landscapes, portraits, handcrafts, and much more.

The event was a resounding success, to which we credit:  1) Having a church structure and a church council that encourages committees to “do their own thing” as long as council feels that it fits in with the church vision and values. 2) A few people willing to risk stepping out of their own comfort zones, and encourage others to use their own creativity.  3) The donation of committed individuals to cover direct expenses, and the church providing space, a few supplies, cleaning services, and the electricity.  4) Martha Kratz drafting her friends to help her create Cafe Fleur in the fellowship hall, and Tim Longacre creating a wonderful entrance, using his gift of set design. 5) Most importantly, the blessing of the Holy Spirit, which has been present to empower, encourage, and guide the planning.  We’re counting on the Holy Spirit to continue that work and help us establish and set an example of a Christian community family.

Some people were hesitant to come to a Mennonite church; they didn’t know what to expect.  We were not surprised to hear one person say, as some have also said at our pancake breakfasts, “There is a good spirit here.”  Many offered to donate money before they left.  Some said this was the most fun they had in a year.  The children loved doing crafts.  People who had not seen one another in a long time renewed acquaintances, and in one instance, healing began in a difficult relationship. One artist from Most Blessed Sacrament Church in Bally invited a guest to her home to teach her how to do one of her art projects.  We are convinced that God was at work in the synergy that was created and will continue to use this experience to help us make more new friends.

Those who led the event had no idea how much work it was going to be or what the costs might be; they stepped out in faith that God would provide, even though there were only three months to plan it.   Some assumed that this would be a one-time event.  However, so many guests asked if we were going to do this again next year that we might do it again and extend it into Sunday morning.  Some of the stretching of our skills was not easy, but it will be easier if we decide to do it again.  We are hoping that some of our new friends will help too, because working together is so much fun.

We are grateful for the members of Bally Mennonite Church who submitted work, and the local artists,and family and friends whose hobbies and creative interests reflect their God-given talents. Without the creativity and network of Julie Longacre and the network and outreach of Gene Galligan, we would not have had as many local artist who shared their art and performed music.  We are thankful for those who assisted in supplying and serving free refreshments and lunch and the many additional people who contributed to the success of the event, including The Church of the Good Shepherd in Boyertown for the use of the art racks to display the paintings.

May we continue to recognize the Creative Spirit within us and may the Holy Spirit continue to work and help us establish and set an example of a Christian community family.

Diane Bleam, Event Coordinator
Julie Longacre, Art Coordinator

Palestinian and Jewish Voices for Peace

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By Peder Wiegner, member at Norristown New Life and of the Conference Israel/Palestine Taskforce

Franconia Mennonite Conference (FMC) together with Living Branches hosted the Palestinian and Jewish Voices for Peace Tour on Saturday, April 22. The FMC Israel Palestine Task Force was key to organizing this event together with Mennonite Church USA (MCUSA).

Jonathan Kuttab, a Palestinian Mennonite and human rights lawyer, together with Rabbi Linda Holzman of Jewish Voices for Peace and organizer of the social justice community in Philadelphia called Tikkun Olam Chavurah, shared their stories, experiences, and analysis of the Israeli occupation of the West Bank and Gaza. This was a key time to hear their stories and experiences as in July, Mennonites from around MCUSA will be voting on an important resolution at the MCUSA Convention in Orlando, FL.

The FMC Israel Palestine Task Force’s Preston Bush welcomed the thirty or so guests to the event and introduced the speakers, while everyone enjoyed a delicious breakfast.

Rabbi Holzman spoke of her journey in the Jewish community as it relates to the context of Israel and Palestine. Holzman highlighted that there are a wide range of views about Israel/Palestine among the Jewish community, while speaking of some of the things she was taught as a child she had to unlearn in order to be able to see the reality of the oppression of the Palestinian people. One of those teachings was that the land of Palestine was empty before the Jewish settlers arrived in Palestine, and another was that the Palestinians left their homes voluntarily, giving the land as a gift to the newly arriving Jewish settlers. Both of which she later learned to be false, as Palestinians were living there and had been working the land for centuries. Those who fled what is now Israel proper had their land taken from them, forcing them to become refugees never allowed to return home.

Rabbi Holzman reminded those present that criticism of the oppressive Israeli government does not come from Anti-Semitism; on the contrary, there is a wide variety of opinions and views within the Jewish world about Israel and Palestine. Not everyone is on board with supporting the oppressive regime.

She affirmed something that we Mennonites often declare. She said, “What I learned as a Jew was that everyone is created in the image of God and that we should love our neighbor as ourselves. The Jews were enslaved in Egypt, and so we should never let others be enslaved. The Jews were strangers in the land and so we should treat strangers well.”

Rabbi Holzman closed by talking about intersectionality being the recognition of oppression of different kinds as being connected and also layered. For example, being a woman in a male-dominated society brings certain disadvantages, but those disadvantages are compounded for women of color in a society dominated by white privilege such as the U.S., or for a Palestinian woman in Israeli society. We need to open our eyes and see that the struggles of Palestinians are like those of people of color in the U.S. and like the struggles of indigenous groups all over the world.

Jonathan Kuttab then spoke about the current situation in Palestine today, the Kairos Palestine Document, the MCUSA Israel Palestine Resolution, the Boycott Divestment and Sanctions (BDS) movement, a Palestinian-led movement for freedom, justice and equality holding to the principle that Palestinians are entitled to the same rights as the rest of humanity. Palestinian civil society organizations have called for a nonviolent resistance strategy to end the Israeli occupation of the West Bank and Gaza. Part of this strategy includes the BDS movement. Yet many in the West are critical of this approach despite the fact that it is nonviolent. The BDS movement is a moral and ethical critique that bothers Israel. It bothers Israel so much that Israel has dedicated three government ministries to fighting it. That seems to be an indicator of the capacity of BDS.

Mr. Kuttab observed that Western Christians tend to hold Palestinians accountable when it comes to violence but often turn a blind eye to the violence perpetuated by Israel. Yet, they still have not supported the Palestinian-led non-violent strategies.

Many Palestinian Christians were shocked when the Mennonite church – a peace church – failed to pass a resolution in Kansas City in 2015, addressing the injustices perpetuated against the Palestinians. However, the new resolution being presented for the 2017 Convention provides an opportunity for Mennonites to end their silence on this issue and commit to being part of a just and peaceful solution in Israel/Palestine while at the same time speaking out against Islamophobia, anti-Semitism, and other hateful ideologies in our churches and society.

This June marks the 50th anniversary of the Israeli occupation of Palestine. Will we sit back and let the oppression of Palestinians continue without making a statement? We, the Task Force, invite our Franconia Conference delegates to Convention to support the Seeking Peace in Israel Palestine Resolution.

The Gift of Receiving

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By Mike Clemmer, LEADership Minister

I was intrigued by something that was said by one of the National Football League (NFL) analysts, about what it would take for this year’s new draft picks to be successful in the NFL. He said, “these star college players need to do something that they never really have had to do before – that is to be willing to receive coaching and critique, because their talent will only take them so far.”  I reflected on this statement and wondered how this might relate to our churches in Franconia Conference. I was taught from as early as I can remember that “it is better to give than to receive” (Acts 20:35). As an adult, this makes sense. We as Christians are called to pursue mutual aid and to use our gifts and talents to help those who are in need. As I look around at our Franconia Conference churches, mutual aid and supporting those in need is clearly in the forefront of our missional focus, and rightfully so. Whenever there are financial needs or physical needs, churches and individuals are quick to deliver – often in the biblical mode of “not letting the right hand know what the left hand is doing.” We definitely have built up a good track record on giving.

But lately, I have been drawn to perhaps an equally important Christian posture –  that it is just as important to be able to receive. Our track record on being grateful receivers is not as stellar as our giving record. When people ask me if they can help me, my response is almost always, “No, I (or we) have things under control.” I wonder if we are not, at times, blocking others from receiving the blessing of giving to us. Do we find ourselves “above” the possibility of receiving from others?

I recently watched two of our churches experience times of crisis. When they were asked by Conference Leadership and by other churches what they needed to help them the most, instead of acting like they could handle things on their own, their leadership opened their arms to receive a variety of help and kindness that was offered to them. These churches were truly refreshed and encouraged by their ability to receive, and I was amazed at their openness to these blessings.

Receiving can be a lot more than just financial help. This is where it gets tricky. Though probably the greatest thing that both we and the new NFL players can receive is coaching and critique, neither is generally welcomed with open arms. The churches in the New Testament all were a work in progress. Dialogue, teaching, and coaching were needed as part of the growth process, but not all were open to receiving. Are we open to receiving help or coaching in areas of finances, racism, immigration, helping the poor, and a whole lot of other areas of need? I believe that when churches are open to seeing themselves as a work in progress and intentionally place themselves in a position to receive, blessings are poured out in abundance. I would challenge us to continue to look not only at the ways that we can give, but also to the people and places from which we can receive.

Board Welcomes Smita Singh

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By Angela Moyer, co-pastor at Ripple and Conference Board Member

Smita Singh was appointed to the Franconia Conference Board by delegate affirmation at the Fall 2016 Assembly, beginning her first term with the Board in January, 2017. Smita is a member at Whitehall Mennonite Church in the Lehigh Valley since 2000, when she immigrated to the United Stated with her husband Naveen and son Ronak.

Growing up in Nagpur, India, Smita was raised in a Christian home with church and faith as an integral part of her upbringing. She was actively involved with her church youth group, Youth for Christ (YFC), Evangelical Students Union (EU), children’s ministry, National Council of Church’s in India (NCCI) and Maharashtra Village Ministries (MVM). She has led women’s groups and youth groups through BSF International (Bible Study Fellowship), and as a member of Whitehall, Smita has worked in children’s ministry, helped with fundraisers and served on the budget committee and worship planning committee.

She graduated from Nagpur University with a Bachelors in Computer Science. She then received her Master’s Degrees in Business Administration specializing in finance and marketing. Smita has experience as a Google Quality Rating Consultant and also owns an Etsy business, “Rosmina Collections.” Recently, she began working in the Customer Service Department at Nestle.

Janet Byler, Smita Singh, and Ron Bender finished out a long line of blessings and anointing for Pastor Rose Bender at her ordination in 2012.

Initially, Smita was not interested in being on the Board at Franconia Conference, but after prayer, both she and Naveen sensed that this was a call to move out of her comfort zone, especially after having an encouraging conversation with Steve Kriss, then the Director of Leadership Development.  Now, she is looking forward to discovering how she can use her gifts and experience to serve in this role and hopes to fulfill God’s calling.

Her favorite passage of Scripture is Isaiah 41:10, “Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.” She says she connects to God best by having her quiet time praying and seeking His word for discernment.

Smita describes Whitehall Mennonite as an eclectic group of people filled with hospitality, diverse in speech and culture, with a common goal to serve the Lord and care for each other. Something she has learned at Whitehall is that God is faithful and always provides in unexpected ways. Transformation happens one person at a time and many times the transformation takes place years after the seed was planted.

Rose Bender, Pastor at Whitehall Mennonite Church says, “Folks at Whitehall appreciate Smita’s creativity, generosity, and delicious cooking!  Because of her life experience and background, Smita often has a different perspective to add to the conversation – a part of the rich fabric of diversity at Whitehall Mennonite Church. She is a joy to pastor and work alongside in ministry.”

Smita lives in Breinigsville, PA with her husband, and now 14-year-old son.  In her free time, she enjoys making cards, helping her son with his school projects, volunteering at church, and as a volunteer coach for Springhouse Middle School Science Olympiad Team.

 

On Scattering, Gathering and California Dreamin’

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by Steve Kriss, Executive Minister

Within the first few weeks of assuming the role of Executive Minister of Franconia Conference, I began to hear more about how the shifting structures across the Mennonite landscape might begin to affect us.  In Conferences across the country as well as in Canada, we have begun a season of realignment.  Conferences are both receiving and releasing congregations as communities seek new alignments that seem to defy previous understandings of geography and organizational configurations.  Daniel Hertzler, retired Mennonite editor, from Scottdale, PA, has called it a season of Mennonite scattering.

But it is also a season of Anabaptist gathering.  Over the last decade our Conference has received new member congregations in Atlanta, Pittsburgh, Philadelphia, Allentown and East Greenville.  Several of those new congregations no longer exist which is common with church-planting initiatives; however some have grown to communities approaching 200 people.   These new communities have been essential to our health and the possibilities for our future.  Our new immigrant congregations talk about the significance of joining a “family” that provided a new home, a sense of shelter, roots, accountability, and relationships that give space for flourishing.

This spring, we have begun to experience a significant influx of inquiries, including congregations who would wish to join our Conference from as far as California.  Many of these congregations have had long term relationships with persons in Franconia Conference that have helped to cultivate fruitful global and local partnerships.  As the structure and composition of Mennonite Church USA and conferences continues to shift, these congregations see ready affinity with us and are now asking if they might join us as members.

We are taking these inquiries seriously and we take the challenges of these inquiries to heart.  How might we be a Conference with a cluster of churches in California?  In what ways does this challenge us and in what ways might it invigorate us?

I believe it is possible.  And I trust the inquiries to join with us to come in good faith and honest hope.  Most congregations have had long-term Anabaptist commitments and affiliations, sometimes relationships with Mennonite communities that span the world.   As Franconia Conference, we have long been use to tending long-distance relationships with ongoing work and connections in Mexico that has spanned decades, initiatives in Honduras, and credentialed leaders in Southeast Asia.  We once even assisted in planting a church in Hawaii.

While we take these questions seriously, I know that member congregations in California might stretch us more than we are prepared.  While the relationships aren’t necessarily new, the idea of having a West Coast cluster is beyond what we might have imagined for ourselves as a community. Though it seems possible with the ease of transportation these days and many forms of communication, this will take intentional efforts to build and strengthen our bonds and we’ll have to learn to speak differently when we speak of “us.”

I am challenged by these possibilities.  Yet, the one thing that I know about Franconia Conference is that the Spirit is relentless in inviting us to be transformed anew.  The invitation is again upon us.   I invite your prayers as we together consider and discern God’s best direction while honoring our past, accepting our limitations, and trusting also the Spirit’s movement in both scattering and gathering that might give us a future with great hope.

Preventing and Responding to Sexual Abuse: Some Much-Needed Resources

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by Krista Showalter Ehst

Most of us can agree that sexual abuse and violence are realities we would like to see eradicated from our communities, especially our faith communities. Yet at the end of the day, we often remain paralyzed by the difficulty of these issues and realities, failing to take proactive steps that might prevent or better equip us to respond to sexual abuse. We need, first and foremost, the courage to begin talking more openly about the presence of sexual abuse and violence in our Mennonite communities. But we also need resources to help us have conversations that are healing, and action that leads towards genuinely safe and whole communities.

The Conference Offices are building a small library of print and web resources intended specifically to foster safe and sexually healthy congregations and communities. Any congregation, Sunday School class, small group, or leadership team would be wise to delve into some of these resources, which can be found at the Franconia Conference website by clicking here. Two of these resources will be briefly reviewed here, and they are just a small sample of the other topics addressed, such as responding to clergy misconduct, exploring the gender and racialized elements of sexual violence, and creating safe churches for children and youth.

We are not very good at talking about the “shadow sides” of sexuality: sexual abuse and violence, pornography, sexual addiction, etc. But we’re also not very good at talking about healthy, whole expressions of sexuality. A curriculum produced by MennoMedia’s Faith & Life Resources seeks to encourage congregations to talk openly about and to celebrate sexuality. Entitled Body & Soul: Healthy Sexuality and the People of God, the curriculum is structured as a multi-faceted, intergenerational approach that incorporates both the worship and education aspects of congregational life. As the introduction states, Scripture makes it clear that “God is very interested in our sexual health. As male and female–as beings with strong desires and energy for sexual expression–we can’t ignore sexuality in our apprenticeship of faith in Jesus” (Coordinator Guide, pg 4).  With this foundational understanding, the curriculum offers a 4-week series of worship and education resources centered around the following themes: “Our Bodies, God’s Image”; “Created for Intimacy”; “Honoring the Gift of Sex;” “Holy Desires.” The fact that this series is intended to shape both worship and education means that, for an entire month, sex will be at the forefront of congregational life. And in fact, the authors hope that if the entire congregation is engaged in this conversation about healthy sexuality, these conversations will begin to flow over into other contexts, slowly making it easier to have open and frank discussions about sex.

The curriculum does well to provide specific resources for different groups within congregations. Included in the box set are a worship leader guide, an adult study guide, a youth leader guide, a book geared towards “tweens”, a book to help parents talk about sexuality at home with their young children, and a collection of essays that touches on topics such as sexuality & singleness, sexuality & aging, and sexuality after losing a spouse.

The curriculum also acknowledges its limits. For one, it is not primarily focused on same-sex orientation. The authors recognize that same-sex sexuality has been prominent in our churches of late, and they intentionally strive to talk about sexuality through a broader framework. This does not necessarily exclude conversations about healthy sexuality for LGBTQ persons, but leaders might want to be sensitive in intentionally making space for such conversations.

Additionally, the curriculum does not delve into broken areas of sexuality, although they do name things such as pornography and sexual abuse. The intent is to lay a foundation for further conversation and study, and there are suggested resources for further engagement with these “shadow sides” of sexuality.

The curriculum is quite involved, and would require intentional, long-range planning. That being said, some of the resources included could easily be studied on a smaller scale by individual classes or small groups. It is certainly worthwhile considering whether your congregation might take on the entire 4 week series, as it offers unique space and resourcing for learning to talk about and celebrate our sexuality. Such conversations and celebrations are imperative if we are also to begin acknowledging the broken, harmful expressions of sexuality present in our communities.

A second resource from the Conference library is geared specifically towards confronting the deeply broken reality of sexual abuse. The Little Book of Restorative Justice for Sexual Abuse, co-written by Judah Oudshoorn, Michelle Jacket, and Lorraine Stutzman Amstutz, applies the Restorative Justice framework specifically to situations of sexual abuse. Tragically, when sexual abuse occurs, we sometimes end up pitting the concerns of offenders and victims against one another. As communities of faith, we want to be a welcoming, redemptive place for offenders, but we also don’t want to intentionally harm victims. The Restorative Justice approach is an immense tool in that it explicitly prioritizes the healing and well-being of victims, but provides space in its framework for offenders to be held accountable and to be supported. The basic Restorative Justice approach is to begin by asking: “Who has been hurt?”, and then: “What do they need?”. While offenders may well have been hurt and traumatized in their own lives, this framework does not allow an offender’s own trauma to minimize a victim’s hurt or to derail the process away from the victim’s healing. Ultimately, of course, the goal is to restore communities, which include victims and offenders, to health and wholeness. But the journey towards that wholeness makes sure to value the stories and wounds of victims.

The Restorative Justice framework is helpfully concretized through several case studies, and by laying some basic groundwork. It includes some basics on the issue of sexual abuse, how it harms victims, why offenders perpetrate, and how it can be a cyclical occurrence. It then offers several case studies to demonstrate how the framework might be used when working with a victim, an offender, or an entire community.

The authors do not intend this to be an end-all, be-all approach. They highlight the real lack of creative frameworks for confronting sexual abuse outside of the criminal justice system, and they hope that this particular framework can help spark more imaginative, restorative ways of addressing sexual abuse and seeking restoration in its wake. While it’s obviously a good resource for a congregation that might be in the midst of a situation of sexual abuse, it would be an equally good study for classes or leadership teams or congregations who want to know how to relate to victims or offenders, and who want to prepare for dealing with sexual abuse if/when it occurs.

Just as both of these resources intend to be a starting point for more conversations and more creative approaches, the library of Conference resources is intended as just the beginning of the education and resourcing work we must do if we are to begin making our communities spaces of transparency, health, and wholeness. Check out the entire list of resources online, and consider how your congregation might become better equipped for this important work.

Story Project: A Faith Nurtured and Renewed

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By John Stoltzfus, Conference Youth Minister

How are we doing as a broader faith community in passing on faith to the next generation? Where is faith being lived out loud in such a way that our children and youth are catching a vision of what it means to be follower of Jesus today? The title of John H. Westerhoff’s book Will Our Children Have Faith, first published in 1976, is a question that reverberates with every generation of the church.

In some of our churches we are noticing emptier pews and smaller youth groups, decreasing engagement in the life of worship, and greater divides in cross generational life. I hear both anxiety and fear in response to these trends.

The reasons for these trends are as multi-faceted as is the diversity of our conference congregations. We also don’t live in a bubble from larger societal trends. Many studies reveal that more millennials are choosing to opt out of traditional church participation. This drop in traditional religious engagement and identity spans every demographic group.

We often talk about passing on faith to the next generation as if it was a one way street. A more apt metaphor may be one of a journey in which faith comes alive for each one of us in new ways as each generation shares in common experiences and practices of the Christian life. Unless we as adults are growing in our faith how can we expect our children and youth to grow into a faith that lasts and matures in adulthood?

Several years ago in my neighborhood there were several boys who were ringing doorbells late at night and then dashing away. My anger got the best of me one night and I chased them through the streets after they rang our doorbell waking the whole household. Much to my chagrin, my seven year old daughter heard what I did. Thankfully, she showed me a better, and more Christ-like way, to respond. The next evening she suggested that we set out a plate of freshly baked cookies that we had made that day so that the boys could have something to eat if they came again that night.

Our children may have something to teach us about being peacemakers if we as adults are willing to listen!

What is the invitation of the church at this time? What are the deeper questions we need to be asking of ourselves and how we live as disciples of Christ? We may need to look to the edges of our institutions and faith communities to see the Spirit moving. We will need to place our trust and hope in a revealing God who has been faithful for many generations.

I believe we have stories and practices that we can share with one another to spur us on in this grand journey and narrative of God’s revealing salvation. We have signs of hope if we look closely enough. We have a rich heritage of faith that can inspire us to live anew into the emerging shape of the people of God.

Along the way, we may be called to let go of some things. In order for the new to arise some ways of doing things in the church may need to die that the church may be resurrected to new life. Are we willing to allow our church structures to change to support and embrace the new shapes of faith of the next generation? As our demographics change and as our world around us changes we will need to imagine new wineskins. We also may be called to reclaim pieces of our faith heritage that we have neglected.

Over the next year, we want to highlight stories from across our conference of how faith across generations is being renewed and lives transformed. Let’s tell on each other in the best possible way to highlight the good news of God at work in our young and old. What models do we have, both new and old, of renewing faith intergenerationally? Contact me if you have a story to tell of a faith nurtured or renewed in your congregation or larger community.

Understanding Symptoms of Sexual Abuse

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By John Drescher-Lehman, LCSW

There are many reasons why sexual abuse survivors do not come forward, especially in their church communities. Many have noted that when they have shared their experience with their church, they are met by ignorance leading to a poor handling of the situation and a lack of support for them. The reality of sexual abuse is something most of us do our best not to think about, including many of the victims of sexual abuse; at times, especially the victims. There are many responses to being the victim of sexual abuse that may seem abnormal, are difficult to understand, or even frighten those who are unaware that they are normal responses/ symptoms of sexual abuse. Here we will discuss some of those things.

When someone is the victim of sexual abuse, they are not able to do anything to stop the abuse.  Therefore, sometimes the best way to deal with it is to try not to notice it is happening, or not to remember that it has happened.  We have many psychological defenses that help us deny, avoid, and reinterpret what has happened to us, especially when what happened was overwhelming and traumatic.  Often this is the best line of defense for a child who is being sexually abused, when no one except the abuser knows what is happening.

God has created our minds to be able to block out overwhelming information or pain that we aren’t prepared to deal with.  This helps us survive and go on living, yet the trauma and its impact do not go away. It is fairly common for adults to carry traumatic experiences out of their childhood, even without memory of the abuse.  Sometimes later in life, these memories can be triggered by life events, like having your own children, or having another traumatic experience that brings up the trauma from years ago; even something as simple as a smell can trigger memories.  Symptoms can then manifest themselves in the person in what to others may look like an over-reaction or hyperarousal of the nervous system, or an under-reaction or hypo arousal of the nervous system.

When a person is in the hyperarousal state, they can appear very anxious and vigilant, even in non-threatening situations. This is the state of increased stress we often refer to as fight or flight.  They may not be able to trust those they are the closest to, especially if their abuse was perpetrated by someone familiar to them.  According to a 2003 National Institute of Justice report, 3 out of 4 adolescents who were sexually assaulted were victimized by someone they knew well.  In a hyperarousal state, a survivor may startle easily, become quickly irritated by small provocations, find it difficult to sleep, appear to be very defensive and angry, including  directing their anger at God.  They also can have thoughts of suicide and make suicide attempts as the constant anxiety and inability to rest becomes overwhelmingly painful and exhausting and death seems the only possible option remaining to have peace.

When a person is in the under reactive or hypo arousal state, they may appear calm and distant.  Inside they feel frozen, paralyzed and numb.  They often are detached from activities and relationships and can show symptoms of depression.  Sometimes during this state the use or abuse of alcohol and or drugs may also increase as the substance may provide some ability to feel alive and have the energy to be involved in life. Victims of sexual abuse also may partake in self-injuries behavior as reported by the National Center for PTSD reports, often as an attempt to feel something.

Some victims of sexual abuse will also have intrusive memories and body sensations of the abuse, sometimes through flashbacks and nightmares, where it feels like the trauma is happening in the present time.  It is also common at this stage for some individuals to take more risks, sometimes risks in the area of acting out sexually.  It is often an attempt to somehow confront the traumatic event, and hope this time they will not be harmed or overwhelmed by it. It can also be an attempt to normalize the abuse they once experienced. This is somewhat like a person going back through the intersection where they had a bad car accident months ago, as a way of not avoiding this route, and therefore not continuing to be affected by the accident.

When someone comes to you with memories of trauma it is important to simply listen. Next, acknowledge the trust they have placed in you with this painful story and ask them what would be helpful at that moment.  Providing resources available to survivors is important also, so that when the person is ready to engage in recovery, she or he will know how to proceed. Hearing about someone’s trauma is not something to be afraid of, especially if you are equipped with the tools needed to listen and offer support.

For a list of resources to assist you in understanding abuse and how to respond visit: http://mosaicmennonites.org/church-safety/.

For local support groups, search your local victim advocates office. In the Lansdale, PA area there is Survivors Safe Haven: a self-help group for survivors of sexual abuse that meets the 2nd Wednesday of every month at 6:30 pm in Lansdale. See the flier with contact information here.

The National Resources for Sexual Assault Survivors and their Loved Ones is full of helpful information and compiled by RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network).

John Drescher-Lehman, is a licensed clinical social worker, therapist,  and a member of Franconia Conference’s Addressing Abuse Taskforce.