Mosaic Mennonites

Missional - Intercultural - Formational

Call to Ministry Stories

The other side of loss

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KrisAnne Swartleyby KrisAnne Swartley, Doylestown

Pastors’ children tend to have two reputations: rebellion or following in the footsteps of their parents (never mind all the kids in between). From the time I was young, I fell into the latter category, strongly drawn to my father’s calling and work. My connection to God was real and tangible to me, very much alive in my interior world. I followed that inner leading readily, preaching my first sermon as a teenager and studying ministry in college.

As a fresh college graduate, with all the energy and optimism that implies, I began my first professional ministry position. And I made mistakes. I began to wonder if I had heard God’s call correctly. Were my weaknesses too obvious? Was I too passionate? Too opinionated? Too feminine or not feminine enough?

I sat with these questions for quite a while without resolving them completely, and then one day my phone rang. It was my father. My mother had been diagnosed with cancer. They came to stay with us during her treatment, and as I struggled to companion her and my father in their journey—saw the way the cancer ate away at her body and mind—I felt my soul sinking into a deep, dark, silent place I had never known before.

And when she died, it felt like part of me died as well.

Not only did I question if I was called to ministry in the first place, but I questioned the character of the God who called me. Is God really good? Is God active in our lives? Does God work miracles to heal the sick? I tried to hold all of these questions and doubts honestly. I tried to wait patiently for answers. I went to seminary and got my MDiv in the hope that some book or professor or passage of scripture would clear the fog for me. It did not.

Over time, however, something got under my skin. Maybe it was the touch and smell of my baby’s skin, the faithful companionship of my husband, or the food that friends brought as we grieved. Maybe it was the miracle that there was still laughter at all after so many tears. Maybe it was the simple act of loved ones praying for me when I could not pray at all. Maybe it was music or simply the passage of time… or a combination of all these things. But slowly and steadily faith came back to me, like a dear friend who had been holding my hand all the time and I had not noticed.

God’s call to serve as a pastor also came back to me. I found congregations and leaders who received my passion and vulnerability, who readily acknowleged my humanity and still dared to call me “minister.” To my surprise, I discovered that on the other side of loss is gift and great joy. And being a pastor does not mean having all the answers. For me, it means bringing all of myself–doubts, fears, anger, passion, joy—to the moment and choosing to trust God’s Presence among us.

KrisAnne Swartley is on the pastoral staff at Doylestown Mennonite Church for the Missional Journey. She lives in Hilltown Township with her husband Jon and two children, Heidi and Benjamin.

On World Domination and Global Espionage

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Derek Cooperby Derek Cooper, Deep Run East

Growing up in the piney woods and ranch-covered hills of East Texas, I deliberated between two potential careers: world domination, that is to say, being a politicking lawyer, and global espionage, perhaps serving as a CIA officer who worked covertly in some ivy-covered medieval castle in Ghent or Prague.

Now snugly in my thirties, it turns out that I have yet to find a way to control the world. Nor have I yet traveled to Ghent or Prague. Instead, my days are comprised of changing dirty diapers on the youngest of my three children, who laughs mockingly every time I mention that toilets are all the rage; leading and participating in a continual cycle of meetings; having lunch at very German-sounding restaurants with local pastors; teaching and counseling seminary students; and writing Christian books whenever I can snatch the time. When I get home after a busy day of work, my wife and I talk about our day and then I play dolls with my two girls. Almost every night, instead of chasing down international gun-smugglers in a black-and-white tuxedo, I run after my son until I fall down from premature middle-age or until I trip over a Barbie Doll who is taking a joyride on a miniature camouflaged jeep.

My life – and the silly daydreams I had as a child – changed for the better when I was a young college student. Armed with the dual majors of Political Science and Spanish, I stood barrel-chested before the world, ready to take over the reins of political control and international malevolence once I graduated.

In the meantime, I met the love of my life during my second year of college. At the exact moment I saw her, something inside of me came alive and the first moment I got, I boldly declared to this Bucks County native: “I’m going to marry you.”

Repulsed at my forwardness, I spent the next three years convincing this beautiful young lady, named Barb, that God sent her down to Texas so that she could marry me. Little did I know that God had, indeed, led her to Texas – to serve as a missionary with Youth with a Mission (YWAM). But about this more important matter of fetching a husband, she was not amused. Although I still stand by my statement – who knew that Texans were bold and swaggering? – God was pleased to use this young woman to remove my heart of stone and give me a heart of flesh. Within a matter of months, I dropped that world domination and global espionage business, and began to think like a Christian, that is, outwardly and in a Jesus-centered way. I gave my life to Christ, and it has never been the same.

Before I knew it, I was a college graduate and a full-time seminary student. I was now conjugating Greek verbs, preaching at something called a church, reading the Bible (and learning this was far more interesting than political theory), praying, and thinking of a career in missions.

Eventually I learned that God was preparing me for a career in theological education. In the meantime, not only did I convince Barb to marry me, but I even convinced her that God was calling me to get a PhD – which can be translated in the marriage-ese language as: “I will study for the next several years and make no money. Will you support us as I do so?”

While I was earning the last of my three graduate degrees and generating a very meager income-earning power, Barb gave birth to our three wonderful children – currently aged three, four, and five – and also managed to work full-time as an educator.

Did I mention how great my wife is?

Over the years, God has been extraordinarily kind to us. After years of prayer, Barb is now able to stay at home full-time with our kids, just as she has always wanted. And God has provided many wonderful ministry opportunities for me. Most recently, I served on the pastoral teams of two different churches, and I am now a very busy seminary professor and administrator – filling my professional free time with speaking at different churches and writing books.

But the most recent change Barb and I have experienced is joining the Mennonite community. Through the course of key relationships with Mennonite leaders, pastors, and churches, Barb and I have sensed God’s clear leading for us to become Maronites, I mean, Mennonites (I’m still trying to get that down). What can a Southern transplant from gun-slinging and flag-saluting Texas say about being part of the oldest Mennonite community in North America?

In all honesty, I can say that Barb and I clearly sense that God is active in the Mennonite community. God’s Spirit is really alive and poised to do something amazing. We are excited to be a part of this and can’t wait to see how God will bring everything together.

As I think back upon my former dreams, do I have any regrets? Not a one: Christ fashioned my life into something much more than a career in world domination or espionage ever could have given me. Following Jesus has been the most rewarding journey of my life. Of course, if Jesus happened to take a trip and set up shop in Prague or Ghent, I would not complain.

Dr. Derek Cooper is assistant professor of biblical studies and historical theology at Biblical Seminary in Hatfield, PA, where he also serves as associate director of the Doctor of Ministry program. He and his wife Barb are members at Deep Run East Mennonite Church. He can be reached at dcooper@biblical.edu.

Church as an extension of family

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Ben-Widemanby Ben Wideman, Salford

I am a child of the Mennonite world – my parents met while doing Voluntary Service in Mississippi and were married soon after.   Believe it or not, I was even born on the day of our area Mennonite Central Committee relief sale!  My parents recognized the value in bringing me up with the church as an extension of my family system.

The church (no joke: WIDEMAN Mennonite) was where I found my biggest supporters, best friends, and strongest mentors.  From an early age I was given the opportunity to participate in the life of the church through handing out bulletins, participating as an usher or greeter, reading scripture, and then transitioning into helping with music and worship leading.

Looking back, I am certain that those church leaders who tapped me on the shoulder were extremely influential in shaping my calling.  They provided me with confidence, encouragement, and a belief that there was real value in an authentic church community.  However it wasn’t until leaving that my home congregation that I felt a more direct sense of calling toward church ministry.

As I prepared to head off to college, I found myself wondering what path I would take.  I originally applied to Eastern Mennonite University as a business major, but was unsure of how that would unfold.  I clearly remember the Nashville Youth Convention as an experience where I felt a strong sense that God was directing me toward pastoral ministry, and after that week was over, I contacted EMU to switch my intended major to Biblical Studies.  As I began to share this decision with my friends and family, I was surprised by how many people affirmed this decision as if they had expected it all along!  From that point on, I have seen God at work shaping this call through a variety of people and experiences in my life.

I graduated from EMU and began to work at the Admissions Office on campus.  I spent three years in that role as a college recruiter and inadvertently explored and experienced the denomination as I traveled throughout the country.  After I left my position at EMU and moved to California, my experience at Fuller Theological Seminary allowed me to dig deeper into my faith tradition and theological convictions in a multi-denominational environment.  It was an incredible experience and one that has continued to shape who I am today.

My calling to Franconia Conference and Salford Mennonite Church was an unexpected transition.  My wife Meredith and I had all but ruled out this area as an option for ministry, preferring to find a congregation in an urban, non-traditional Mennonite context.  It was the pastoral leadership at Salford who reached out to us and began the conversation that eventually led to our arrival.  We did not expect to find a home here, but we have been blessed by a wonderful faith community and a new church family.

My new role as associate pastor of youth and young adults allows me to experience many different aspects of pastoral ministry, while continuing to develop who I am as a new pastor.  I look forward to God’s continued guidance in my life, wherever that may take me in the future.

A Combined Call

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Kirby Kingby Kirby King, Minister of Adult Formation at Souderton Mennonite Church

To speak about call in my life for church work requires that I speak about my call to teach at Christopher Dock Mennonite High School (Dock) as well as my call to become a licensed leader of adult formation at Souderton Mennonite Church. Both calls are so intertwined that I cannot separate them.

As a student at Lancaster Mennonite High School in the early ’80s I began to see myself as a person who could possibly have gifts in presentation and publicly leading or teaching a group. This is largely due to several teachers who gave me an opportunity to explore the “stage” of the classroom with presentations. My youth group at Maple Grove Mennonite Church complimented this by opening up leadership roles for me; specifically leading/teaching Bible study. A call was beginning to form inside me from those around me.

Fast-forward a few years, Laura Stoltzfus challenged me to go to college and become a teacher. I shared this with a small group and found support and encouragement. Again, the words from brothers and sisters of the faith sparked an internal call.

At present I have been teaching at Christopher Dock for 19 years. Even though I have completed my Master of Arts in Education, I have enrolled in Eastern Mennonite Seminary (EMS) to work toward a second Master’s degree. I feel an internal call to continue my education but this call is also tested and confirmed by my colleagues at Dock, my professors at EMS, and my peers at church.

Over the past two years, my work in my congregation (Souderton Mennonite Church) has blended smoothly with my professional teaching career. I have been assisting and leading in the adult Sunday School classes as a support person, class room teacher, and mass session leader. I also have added what I can to the preaching rotation; some during the summer months and some during a pastor’s sabbatical leave.

Souderton Mennonite Church recently asked me to accept a call to become our first leader of adult formation. This fits well with my internal call to teach and my full time occupation at Dock. I remain open to God’s leading in this new role. Based on my experience with God’s call, some future calls will stir up within me and some future calls will be clarified or brought to light from those around me. My prayer is that I hear and listen to God’s call as this new role develops.

The deep affirmation of God

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John Stoltzfus, Campus Youth Minister, Christopher Dock Mennonite High School

John M StoltzfusMy call to ministry did not happen in one place or time but pursued me from my childhood in Morgantown to the far reaches of the globe. I grew up in a home where the life of the church and a strong commitment to faith were woven into the fabric of family life. In my parents’ lives, I witnessed a love for God and all of God’s people.

I recall numerous people in my home congregation tapping me on the shoulder with the encouragement to consider pastoral ministry. Despite this outer call, the inner call was yet to be confirmed for some time. I told a friend before I entered Eastern Mennonite College that while I didn’t know what I wanted to be, I did know that I didn’t want to be a pastor!

Following college, my interest in service and experiencing other cultures spurred me to teach in China. During those two years, God’s grace and prompting continued to shape and lead me in the direction of pastoral ministry. Upon returning, I entered Eastern Mennonite Seminary. These years marked a key turning point as I received the deep affirmation of God for who I was and was becoming.

The call to my first pastorate at Lombard Mennonite came in the midst of a coast-to-coast bike ride in the summer of 2001 while I was entertaining serious doubts about my decision to pursue church ministry. That journey taught me a greater trust in the provision of God. I am deeply grateful to the Lombard congregation for the ways in which they nurtured and encouraged me to grow as a ministering person.

In my ministry with youth, I hope to pass on this gift, helping our youth listen for the often still and small voice of God in their lives, calling us all to be ministers of God’s reconciling love in our world.

Family, nature, and service

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Sheryl (Hurst) Duerksen, Principal, Quakertown Christian School

QCS photo
Sheryl Duerksen with student Grant Souder.

I grew up on my family farm in Bowmansville, Pa. Through my parents and extended family, I learned the language of love. For an outgoing child who loved being around people, our farm provided a wonderful opportunity to be showered with love and attention.

Highlights of my childhood were being outdoors around the farm, in the creek, or riding bike. After college graduation, I joined my brother and three other young adults to ride bike across the US. We flew to Los Angeles, Ca. where we each dipped our back bicycle wheel in the Pacific Ocean. After riding 54 days and covering 3,600 miles, we arrived in Asbury Park, N.J. where we each put our front wheel in the Atlantic Ocean.

Church and service were also important and college summers provided opportunities to participate in voluntary service. I met my husband, Rick, when he moved to Philadelphia to participate in two years of voluntary service at Crossroads Community Center.

In 1989 I was introduced to Christian education when the Duerksen family moved to Camp Men-O-Lan. The core values of Quakertown Christian School (QCS) resonated with me and I was thrilled to be hired as a second grade teacher. Twenty-two years later I continue to enjoy my involvement in the ministry of QCS. Teaching and education are truly my passion! Two years ago, I moved into an administrative role and now serve as principal.

Education in a Christian school is exciting because a biblical dimension is added to daily routines; we are able to integrate the teachings of Jesus in every subject. When home, church, and school partner together, children will be blessed in their faith development. It is exciting to be part of a ministry that develops radical followers of Christ.

God’s “acolyte” in youth ministry

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by Scott Franciscus, Covenant Community

From an early age, church has played an important part in my life. Growing up in the Episcopal Church, which followed a consistent liturgy, and very rarely missing the early morning worship each Sunday, I sought to become as involved with the church service as possible. As soon as I was able after being confirmed, I became an acolyte (which means “helper” or “attendant” in Greek), also known as “altar-boy”. The role of the acolyte is to assist in the worship service by carrying a processional cross, lighting candles, helping to set up and clean up the altar for communion, holding the Gospel Book that the priest read from, swinging incense, and holding the collection plates after the offering was taken.

Throughout my years in middle school and high school, I continued to take on more responsibilities as an acolyte including reading the Old or New Testament liturgy or administering the shared communion cup during the celebration of the Lord’s Supper. Even though my family was proud of my involvement in the church and occasionally someone from the church would comment on my “future” in the church, I did not ever see myself “called” to formal ministry. While I stayed connected to the church during my high school and college years, it was done more out of obligation than desire.

When I started attending Messiah College—in part because it was close to home— ministry was not in my plans. I entered Messiah College as a declared accounting major. Since I enjoyed accounting and did well in my accounting classes in high school, it seemed like the perfect fit for me, especially since it seemed like the perfect profession so I could get the most out of life and accomplish my dreams. Little did I know at the time that it wasn’t about my dreams and what I wanted out of life.

While at Messiah, I became involved with a group called “I’m Worth Waiting For” which offered abstinence-presentations to health classes and church youth groups. During this time, God began instilling a passion in my heart to work with young people. At the time, the church I grew up in didn’t have a ministry to youth outside of Sunday School where I could go to talk with someone about faith or struggles, or even just to hang out.

The more opportunities I had connecting with youth, the more God called me to change who I was living my life for. Although I enjoyed working with youth and taking the Bible classes at Messiah, the last place I saw myself was in ministry. I made the decision that, regardless of how I felt God leading me, regardless of his gentle persistence, going into ministry was not an option.

It took almost failing out of college for me to realize that it wasn’t about what I wanted out of life. I can still see myself walking around the bases of a baseball field as the snow was gently falling, wrestling with God on why I was not the right person. I tried to convince him there were better people to be in ministry and explain why he didn’t need to call me.

God showed me that the call wasn’t about my goodness but his, that my decisions weren’t the best but his were, that it wasn’t about my goals but his call.  He showed me that no matter how far I tried to run, he would be there waiting for me.

It was then that I decided to follow his path and listen to Christ’s voice. It was then that I realized the abundant life Jesus Christ offers. What a joy it has been being God’s “acolyte” in youth ministry ever since!

Hound of heaven in hot pursuit

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Verle Brubaker, Swamp, pastorverle@justswamp.com

I fled Him down the nights and down the days
I fled Him down the arches of the years
I fled Him down the labyrinthine ways
Of my own mind, and in the midst of tears
I hid from him, and under running laughter.
Up vistaed hopes I sped and shot precipitated
Adown titanic glooms of chasmed fears
From those strong feet that followed, followed after
But with unhurrying chase and unperturbed pace,
Deliberate speed, majestic instancy,
They beat, and a Voice beat,
More instant than the feet:
All things betray thee who betrayest me.
“The Hound of Heaven,” Francis Thompson, 1893

I was from the earliest years called to service. I helped my mother teach Good News Clubs throughout the year, folded bulletins for church, taught Sunday School classes, led summer camps. My dream was to be David Livingstone, Jr., serving in the mission field as a medical doctor.

Growing up in a pastor’s family with three uncles as pastors and three prior generations serving as pastors in the Brethren in Christ Church is quite a legacy to live into. It was overwhelming. The last thing I wanted, growing up in that environment, was to be a pastor.

During my teen years the call came particularly clearly as my father was exiting one of his pastoral assignments. I can remember tearfully hearing the call and anxiously saying to myself, “This can’t be happening.”

Resistance to the call took many of the forms of adolescent rebellion. Like Francis Thompson wrote in The Hound of Heaven, I tried many diversions and pathways that ultimately proved futile.

As I entered college I pursued the dream of medical missions. Yet I could not resist the call. I do not know exactly what triggered the final surrender but it happened in the middle of my sophomore year at Messiah College. At that time I switched my major from pre-med to Bible. An interim pastorate between my sophomore and junior years, seminary experiences, and Voluntary Service assignments further affirmed the call and my response.

I have found joy in learning about God’s church and his call to it. I have a passion for the church to be the church, living out the kingdom of God to a needy world. I have learned that my role as pastor is to help the church become the vehicle of God’s grace to the world, a sign of God’s will for heaven being lived out here on earth.

That sense of call has kept me focused over the more than 30 years I have served the church in the pastoral role. I do not regret the surrender. As Francis Thompson found at the conclusion of his flight from the Hound of Heaven:

All which I took from thee, I did’st but take,
Not for thy harms,
But just that thou might’st seek it in my arms.
All which thy child’s mistake fancies as lost,
I have stored for thee at Home.
Rise, clasp my hand, and come.
Halts by me that Footfall.
Is my gloom, after all,
Shade of His hand, outstretched caressingly?
Ah, Fondest, Blindest, Weakest,
I am He whom thou seekest. . . .