Articles

by Jeannine Adams

I am fortunate to have been raised in The Garden Chapel (Victory Gardens, NJ), a Mennonite church that is invested in children. The leaders supported my spiritual growth, and I was surrounded by adults who prayed for me, cared about my success, and were people I could talk to. Those relationships and experiences helped shape the adult I am today and compelled me to serve within the same congregation. My life would not be the same without the individuals who fostered my spiritual and emotional development.

For many of us who grew up in Victory Gardens, New Jersey, The Garden Chapel was a refuge. For many years, our small congregation hosted a low-cost summer day camp that served children from the community, including many who had little or no church exposure. We spent the hot summer days enjoying activities planned by our pastor, counselors, and church members; learning about God, playing sports, taking cooking classes, making crafts, and going on field trips.

Without my church’s camp, many of the children in the community would not have safe summer environment and exposure to spiritual, physical, and cultural activities. During a field trip to American Museum of Natural History, I remember several kids mentioning that this was their first trip to New York City, even though our town is only 40 miles away.

ADVERSE CHILDHOOD EXPERIENCES

A 2023 report, “Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs)” by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention defines ACEs as potentially circumstances, events, or environmental problems that occur in childhood. These include abuse, neglect, witnessing violence or substance use, and experiencing financial hardship, food insecurity, or family separation. ACEs have a lasting impact on an individual’s physical health, cognitive development, emotional well‑being, and life opportunities. Early adversity is common and affects many children we encounter in our communities and congregations.

The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) reports that more than two‑thirds of children experience at least one traumatic event by age 16. This includes our neighbors, relatives, church members, and the children who participate in our ministries and activities. While educators and mental health clinicians play an important role, they cannot meet the needs of children alone. Individuals and community organizations can provide protective factors that nurture and support children’s resilience.

A SAFE CHURCH HAS MUCH TO OFFER

In his article “Toward a More Trauma-Informed Church,” Pete Singer notes that many people first seek help within the church. Congregations are uniquely positioned to promote the emotional health of children by offering hope and healing in practical, relational, and spiritual ways. The church can serve as a source of support by creating safe environments, meeting basic needs, responding with understanding, and helping children and families develop healthy ways of coping.

Our churches should be a place where children are physically safe and emotionally secure. This requires clear policies, consistent oversight, and staff and volunteers who understand and follow established standards of conduct. Churches should develop documented guidelines that outline procedures for screening and selecting those who work with children, expectations for appropriate behavior, systems for accountability, clearly defined steps for responding to concerns or reports of harm and strategies for ongoing support and repair should a damaging event occur.

Creating safe environments is not the responsibility of children’s workers alone. This shared commitment involves the entire congregation. Singer recommends that every member should receive basic education on the events, experiences, and effects of trauma, as well as child safety practices, so we all understand our role in recognizing concerns, preventing harm, and supporting the wellbeing of the children in our communities.

ADDRESSING HOLISTIC NEEDS AND TRAUMA

The Gospels tell us that Jesus attended to both physical and spiritual needs. After ministering to and healing the multitude, he also fed them, choosing not to send them away hungry. We should not underestimate the impact of adversities such as food insecurity, housing instability, lack of reliable transportation, limited childcare, and unmet medical needs on the families that we serve. It is difficult for children to grow spiritually or emotionally when their basic needs remain unaddressed. Following Christ’s example, our children’s ministries should take a comprehensive approach by assessing the needs of our community and responding to these problems in ways that foster more meaningful effects.

A direct correlation can often be found between adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) and the behavioral and emotional difficulties children exhibit. What we sometimes interpret as “acting out” or defiant behavior may be signals of unmet needs and significant life stressors. In “Trauma-Informed Children’s Ministry,” Robert Crosby et al. address how childhood trauma can contribute to poor impulse control and affect regulation and inattentiveness. Believers should pause and prayerfully consider what may be happening in a child’s life before making assumptions about behavior. This shift in perspective enables us to respond with empathy, patience, and compassion.

SEEN AND HEARD

Our congregations should provide opportunities for healthy expression. We must reject the adage that “children should be seen and not heard.” Children need spaces where they can express their concerns, feelings, and ideas in healthy, appropriate ways. This requires adults to practice attentive, nonjudgmental listening, and to communicate without becoming dismissive or overly corrective. Pete Singer notes that we must also ensure that our use of scripture is truly edifying and does not unintentionally minimize or invalidate the experiences and views of our youth. Children possess a God-given capacity for leadership, insight, and spiritual understanding (1 Timothy 4:12), and adults should recognize this by providing them with opportunities to develop these gifts with appropriate oversight and support.

BUILDING STRONG CHILDREN

With the stress, societal pressure, and difficulties they face, our children need to learn healthy ways to cope with emotional challenges. Philippians 4:6–7 provides a framework for emotional regulation by encouraging us to identify the emotion (anxiety), pray about it and give thanks. We can teach them to incorporate coping skills such as simple breathing exercises and taking a peaceful pause to help with implementation. Grounding techniques such as spending time outdoors and mindfully observing aspects of God’s creation can help children sense God’s presence and stay present in the moment to avoid dwelling on the past or worrying about the future. Developing a gratitude practice fosters emotional stability by shifting attention away from sources of distress and toward God’s provision and blessings, even in difficult times. However, teaching coping skills is not enough; adults must model these practices through our responses to stresses we bear, demonstrating how faith and practical tools work together.

In my work as a licensed clinical social worker, I witness how positive and negative childhood experiences affect adult clients’ wellbeing and sense of self. I’ve worked with many adults who struggle with issues stemming from their foundational years, including low self-concept, feelings of inadequacy, perfectionism, anxiety, and difficulty with establishing and maintaining boundaries. For some, having their needs consistently met, being protected from harm, and a stable environment might have prevented psychological damage. As I hold therapeutic space for my clients during the difficult process of healing, I am reminded of the quote attributed to Frederick Douglass: “It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men.”

Jeannine Adams

Jeannine Adams is a member of The Garden Chapel in Victory Gardens, New Jersey, where she serves as church council president. She is a licensed clinical social worker providing mental health services for Rutgers University Behavioral Healthcare and in her private practice.