by Rose Bender Cook
Resilience is a popular buzzword these days. In the Strategies for Trauma Awareness and Resilience (STAR) program, resilience is defined as “the capacity of individuals and communities to adapt, survive, and bounce back in the midst of or after hardship and adversity.”
All of us need resilience. Healthy leadership requires us to deal with our own wounds, as well as caring for others when they go through a hard season. The Bible contains examples of resilient people who overcame difficult circumstances and thrived: Job, Esther, Paul, and Jesus himself, to name a few. Many scriptures encourage us to persevere in the face of trials. Proverbs 24:16, NIV reminds us that “Though the righteous fall seven times, they rise again.”
There are times in my life when I feel like I am in the deep end of a swimming pool, with my nose peaking above the water. Whether it’s my own fault or due to circumstances beyond my control, the experience is the same. The smallest splash of water will send me spluttering and splashing to catch my breath.
This holiday season, as the weather got icy cold, I thought about friends who have spent far too much time in the deep end of the pool. A blown tire, a lost check, or a bad test result sends them under water. They do not have any margin—financial or otherwise. That’s a hard way to live day after day.
And yet, I see them smiling and playing games at Ripple Community, Inc. (a Mosaic Conference-Related Ministry in Allentown, PA). They will serve others in the kitchen at Whitehall (PA), where I am a pastor. When the check comes in, they buy their pastor a thank-you present. Like the widow who gave her last mite, they keep on giving. I can learn a lot about resilience from these friends. I also need to learn what my role is as I desire to help them.
The greatest gift we can give someone is to offer support without taking away their sense of control or dignity. So, we walk alongside people; we offer comfort but allow them freedom of choice. This is how Immanuel, God-with-us, works with humanity.
We ask them what they need. This is what Jesus did with people that he healed. We find ways they can contribute or serve. Let them know they belong and that their gifts are needed in the body of Christ. We listen to their stories of falling and getting back up again. The hope that undergirds these stories is inspiring.
We create spaces where they can have some respite from the grind of life. Psalm 23 depicts God’s table of abundance, likely in a tent of safety, while enemies prowl outside. At Ripple Community, Inc., there is a quiet room designated for community members to sleep in a safe and warm place. They can rest from having to guard their meager belongings. Someone else is keeping watch. Rest can provide the opportunity to dream and imagine a new way forward.
Studies show that one marker of resilience is having a strong community network. It’s easier when we are all in the shallow end of the swimming pool together. When we get splashed, we can breathe without snorting water. When a crisis comes, we have lots of margin and our hands are free to support others when they slip.
In this new year, instead of making a list of resolutions, consider what practices will help you be more resilient. Prayerfully reflect on how you can accompany others who are struggling. And be open to learning from them. Because together we will increase the capacity of our community to adapt and thrive in the face of hard times.
Rose Bender Cook
Rose Bender Cook is the Leadership Minister for Formation and the Mosaic Institute Director. She is also a pastor at Whitehall (PA) Mennonite Church.