by Emily Ralph, eralphservant@mosaicmennonites.org
Harleysville, PA–Pastors and conference leaders gathered at the Mennonite Conference Center for a resourcing time around managing conflict. Rev. Dr. Barbara Moses, the principal of Philadelphia Mennonite High School, encouraged the leaders to take control of conflict situations in the only way possible: by controlling themselves.
“The only way to get the best of an argument is not to enter into it,” Dr. Moses told the group. And entering into an argument includes more than just words, she said–it’s also about body language, tone of voice, and attitude.
Not all conflicts can be resolved, but they can be managed, according to Dr. Moses. To manage them in a way that brings glory to God and benefits those involved, Dr. Moses suggests using the acronym S.A.F.E.R.: a silent tongue, attentive ear, faithful heart, edifying perspective, and respectful response.
And part of that response is to THINK first, she added. This means making sure that your response is true, helpful, inspiring, necessary, and kind.
“Know your triggers,” Dr. Moses encouraged. “A trigger is anything that sets you off.” By identifying your triggers and taking responsibility for them, you can help others to communicate with you in healthy ways, she said.
Ever the educator, Dr. Moses ended her workshop with an interactive exercise in which groups of conference leaders worked on commercials to communicate some of the techniques they had learned.
Hear the commercials and listen to the full podcast:
[podcast]http://www.mosaicmennonites.org/media-uploads/mp3/Managing Conflict Pastors Breakfast.mp3[/podcast]
The opinions expressed in articles posted on Mosaic’s website are those of the author and may not reflect the official policy of Mosaic Conference. Mosaic is a large conference, crossing ethnicities, geographies, generations, theologies, and politics. Each person can only speak for themselves; no one can represent “the conference.” May God give us the grace to hear what the Spirit is speaking to us through people with whom we disagree and the humility and courage to love one another even when those disagreements can’t be bridged.