SCRAPE … CRACK… SCREECH. My stomach flipped. What just happened?
A day earlier, my husband Jon warned me that our automatic garage door wasn’t working quite right, and he would fix it over the weekend.
“Just double check that the door goes up all the way before you pull out, ok?” Jon said.
“Sure. No problem,” I said. Then I promptly forgot.
I went through my morning routine, pressed the garage door button and heard the door going up. I put my car into reverse and…. Yikes.
My car badly damaged the bottom of the garage door. I dreaded the eventual conversation with Jon, but I needed to take responsibility and help to make it right. A little repentance was called for.
A few years ago, on a windy day, I came home to find my garage door opener not working. Annoying, but no big deal. I parked in our driveway and went inside the house.
Inside, a few appliances were blinking as if the power had gone off and on and the house had a strong, burnt odor. Some light switches worked while others didn’t. One electrical outlet had burn marks just above it on the wall. I was puzzled.
I checked the power line that leads to our house from the road. A huge branch had landed on that line and pulled it away from the side of our house. It was still attached and live, but severely damaged.
The fallen power line had sent an electrical surge through our house, completely damaging many appliances. We were frustrated, but thankful that our house didn’t catch fire in the surge.
The difference between these situations? There was no blame or fault to be found in the second. There was plenty of disappointment, discouragement, and some sadness. Yet there was nothing that could have or should have been done differently to prevent it.
I was certainly at fault in the first story, and it was important to acknowledge that and learn from my mistake so that it wouldn’t happen again.
As Christians, we need to practice this type of discernment more broadly. There is a difference between situations that call for lament and those that call for repentance.
If we repent when we should lament, we take on responsibility that isn’t ours to bear. We are not in charge of the wind, cancer, or earthquakes. We are not responsible for the actions of others when they choose ways that cause suffering. These are situations that call for lament. We sit with the sadness, disappointment, frustration, and anger. We lay it out before God and pray for the Spirit to be present amid suffering.
There are situations, however, when lament is not appropriate. There are times when we bear responsibility for what has gone wrong. We acted wrongly or failed to act when we should have. I am responsible for my words, actions, and reactions. If I throw up my hands and lament my own poor judgment or sin, without taking responsibility, I am not being honest, nor am I seeing clearly.
I am also missing an opportunity for God’s grace to transform me. Grace is for those who fall short, who have more learning and growing to do. If I deny my need to repent, I deny my need for grace. If I don’t receive grace, how will I be transformed?
As a pastor and Mosaic member, I have noticed a variety of responses to difficult situations. I feel a call to practice clearer discernment in the midst of difficulty. May we all grow in our discernment between the times that call for lamentation and those that call for repentance… as individuals, as churches, and as larger institutions. As we practice this kind of discernment, may God bring us hope as we lament and transformation as we repent.
The opinions expressed in articles posted on Mosaic’s website are those of the author and may not reflect the official policy of Mosaic Conference. Mosaic is a large conference, crossing ethnicities, geographies, generations, theologies, and politics. Each person can only speak for themselves; no one can represent “the conference.” May God give us the grace to hear what the Spirit is speaking to us through people with whom we disagree and the humility and courage to love one another even when those disagreements can’t be bridged.