Leading Through an Impasse (Or in the Wilderness)

by Stephen Kriss

For my 40th birthday, I traveled with a group of students to hike Mount Sinai. At the time, Sinai was experiencing a series of kidnappings and a significant decrease in the number of tourists. It was the best time and a precarious time to go. 

Though our guides had assured us our safety, at one stop along the way they ushered us quickly back into the bus due to a suspicious looking approaching vehicle. Our small tourist bus was accompanied by armed guards in a separate vehicle. This was the only time I’ve traveled abroad with a group and second guessed my decision to go. 

Our hotel, seemingly empty except for our group, was foreboding and it felt like something could go awry at any moment. We were among the first wave of returning tourists and may have been the only U.S. American group there. 

The hike to Mt. Sinai is often done to catch the sunrise. It’s a trek up the mountain alongside other pilgrims–most walking, and some on camels or horses. Even in these riskier circumstances, there was a rush of people. I managed to find a few meaningful moments there and the group enjoyed the memorable experience. Afterward, we spent a lovely few days at a seaside resort near the Israeli border that provided opportunity to swim in the Gulf of Elat. 

My experience of Sinai was better in retrospect. While the sunrise hike and the resort were highpoints, what I remember most is the doubt I felt about bringing a group there at that precarious time. 

There are parallels here with the Biblical story. The children of Israel asked, “Has God taken us to this wilderness to die?” Wandering in the Sinai for 40 years before entering the promised land sounds excruciating.  

The liminal space of “not yet” is hard to endure, especially in a culture with instant gratification and same-day delivery. In times of stress, change, and turmoil, we often long for quick answers when we actually need time: time to process and to be formed together. 

Leading with Mosaic Mennonite Conference in this season has involved, for me, some second-guessing and a lot of questions. How did we get here? What is God’s intention for us?   

I declared a few weeks ago that I was done trying to understand systems, whether our government, our church systems, or the Steelers’ decision to hire Aaron Rodgers. Sometimes these processes don’t factor in our perspectives or experiences, especially those of us who don’t regularly have access to points of power and decision-making. 

The reality is that we are almost always living in liminal space. That dash on a tombstone that marks the span of our life is full of experiences of here, but not yet.  

So here we are, many of us leading and wandering in a kind of wilderness. It’s a space and time that doesn’t always make sense to us. We face systems and powers that often seem misaligned with what we need for full individual and communal flourishing. And yet, it is in this space that we are formed. We become more fully ourselves, more fully the people God intends for us to be. It is here we can learn to exhibit the fruit of the Spirit, which requires patience, pruning, and care to grow.  

The process of becoming God’s people and representing the reconciling love of Jesus in this time will be full of paradox–requiring strength, power, and humility.  

The way will emerge. The Way, The Truth and the Life is always in front of us, behind us, beside us and even within us. So, in these in-between times, how are we preparing to embody that Way—in our flesh, blood, heart, mind, soul, and strength—both individually and together?